Category Archives: College Success

Community Matters: How We Got Here

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A year ago my friend Julie Caruccio (you know, Julie, the Assistant Vice President of Student Affairs; Associate Dean of Students– no big deal) wrote to me “I’d like to formally invite you to collaborate with us on the development of a training program for students interested in doing community engagement.”

This was an exciting moment for me professionally. I remembered finishing my doctorate 15 years ago, and asking myself and my adviser, what am I even doing? Am I even using my education? My adviser assured me that I was okay– that my path would make sense, and that all my experiences would lead me to where I was supposed to go. There’s so much internal and external pressure to “use” your education. As if education isn’t an exercise for each of us to understand our selves and our skills better, that is an end to itself, and doesn’t have to be commodified. I’ve always had a defensive, uncomfortable, and complicated reaction to the combination of holding a PhD and service industry jobs. I honestly don’t think that my degree makes me smarter or more valuable as a human. And yet, I find myself simultaneously wanting recognition for my achievement, and the recognition of the humanity of my fellow service workers regardless of formal educational attainment. Also, I am ambitious– I know that my skills and experience in education and community building could be applied at the university level, even as I am uninterested in and unsuited for the typical academic track. Being recognized as having expertise in training and community engagement was important and meaningful to me.

Julie and I began meeting with a student intern, Maggie Hirshland, and, after her maternity leave, another Student Affairs staffer, Rose Cole. After a week or two of listing frustrations stemming from a couple decades of working with UVA students and faculty (a partial list at bottom), I made a mental shift– remembering that the UVA undergraduate population are an age group that I love, and that they are smart, still developing, and in “education mode”. This realization made me view this work as an opportunity to teach, not just chastise.

Over the course of the spring semester, we worked together to visualize what effective student training for community engagement would look like in the particular environment of UVA. I thought about the internal work we must do for our idealized beliefs to become concrete actions. I thought about what respect looks like in practice. I thought about how our insecurities and discomfort negatively affect the way we move through the world. I thought about how it’s so much more powerful to frame suggestions in positive action to enact, as opposed to as a list of “nos” and “nots”. As I reflected, my thoughts coalesced into a framework to guide thinking before, during and after community engagement. I’ve been fortunate to present this framework in a number of Melissa Levy’s classes within the Youth Development Program, and have applied it in community work.

In the Fall, Julie followed up on one of our ideas of putting on an evening series similar to BE’s study groups, compensating me as a Community Fellow. On Tuesday nights from January to May, we’ll be meeting in the back room of the Blue Moon Diner. I’ve got an amazing slate of Community Members doing work that supports, honors, and nurtures our greater community in a multiplicity of ways. They will present about their work, with time built in for dinner attendees to get to know one another, and to generate ideas that authentically connect the University and greater Cville communities. I plan to reflect on each week’s presentation here. The name of the organization links to some material on each presenter. As they present, their name will link to my reflections. The amazing slate so far includes, these fabulous humans:

UVA students, register for dates in the series here. Community Members, please join us. I appreciate a message letting me know you’re coming, but spontaneity is okay too!

Historical Challenges of Working with UVA students, faculty, staff (an incomplete list)

  • Hierarchical Thinking This shows up as UVA-affiliated peeps thinking that they are smarter, more experienced, more capable, more competent, etc., which in turn leads to savior complex.
  • Access to Resources/Systems UVA peeps have access to space, tools, printing, money– this is not without a cost (hello student debt), but there is an assumption that systems and resources available to UVA’s institutional purchasing power is available to local organizations and individuals. A lack in the community may not be due ignorance, the lack can be due to lack of resources, or a mindful prioritization of different resources or values.
  • Compensation I gave free labor to UVA for many years. It’s sorta like when artists are encouraged to do work for free for “exposure”. When a school has a $9.6 billion endowment, and a $3.5 billion annual budget (!!!), that they can’t pay local content experts $100 to share their knowledge is kinda crazy. Not only is getting promise of compensation in the first place challenging, but the logistics of getting paid is incredibly difficult. I’ve gotten paid 3 different ways in the course of the year. When I do get paid, I get a 1099 at the end of the year, which results in having to file taxes, sometimes a tax penalty, and an additional fee for running a business. Some of this is not the University’s fault, it’s just something that anyone doing work with the University has to factor into their financial well-being. (I’m focusing here on people not employed by/affiliated with the University, but plenty of wage workers, adjunct faculty, staff, student athletes, undergraduates and grad students are under-compensated for the labor that they are doing for the university. That the history of UVA is rife with sexism, classism and racism and that marginalized people, especially Black People, have been exploited for their labor cannot be over-emphasized in these conversations.)
  • Extractive Processes This shows up when the University (students, faculty, staff, administration) benefits more from “community” projects than the actual community does. Community members’ resources come in the form of information, time, stories, money, land, data from unconsented experiments, emotional labor, good will. At the root of this is hierarchical thought and practices. The University in all its forms benefits through resume lines, network building, grant-funding, control of community resources, and an outsized voice in community decision-making due to power and perceptions of expertise.
  • Longevity of Relationships Undergraduate students are here for anywhere from 2 to 6 years depending on transfer status and how long it takes to complete course work. Each “year” can be as short as two 15- week semesters with their own obligations and deadlines. Students have all sorts of other obligations– travel home or to study abroad programs, work opportunities and obligations, varying weekly schedules, exams, etc. All of this is a completely different rhythm than much of the greater cville community, which has public school schedules, calendar years, fiscal years, and generations of living life. It can be very hard to sync up the competing timing needs of the different worlds.

BE is Dead. Long Live BE.

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BE Hiking
Since 2014, BE has been magic. We’ve worked with over 260 young adults and children, including a core group of about 30. Two hundred community members have been involved. The entire model of BE has been based upon authentic connections, honest communication, and responsiveness to needs of all participants. We’ve worked to break down hierarchical models, and lockstep programming; we’ve formed an authentic community of mutual support and achievement.
BE Together: Batula and Frances
My life has been in major transition in the past year as my beloved mom, Frances, was in her final illness and died in July. During this time two tendrils worked together: the energy I had for BE was less, and the need for weekly gatherings for our high school and college age peeps was less as students graduated and moved to 4 year colleges and grad school out of the area. My focus has shifted; I want to support other people as they create their own communities and own work. I’ve reminded so many that you don’t have to have permission to do work, and you don’t have to have structures to do work. With that in mind, BE will not be continuing our Joint Partnership of Work with VO. This means is that we will not be soliciting tax deductible contributions. 
BE at the Diner
Even while we shift, the work of BE continues in so many forms. Laura and the Blue Moon Diner, our spiritual home, will be hosting community talks on Tuesdays beginning on January 21. These interactive sessions– open to you, our community– will highlight the work of community members that are building their own works. Ellen provides her mental health work both by providing free informal consultations and referrals to counselors who fit the needs of community members– including the ever-present financial piece. 
BE Swimming
BE is woven into our existence. Batula and I claimed each other as mother and daughter– even while she’s at JMU, my home is her home. When kids are in crisis, they call or text or visit us. Their friends and siblings fuss at them until they reach out. One of our younger members, Marissa, has begun her own nonprofit– Donor Diapers– and reaches out as she needs advice with her own thriving project. As I travel the state with Raven and his haiku slams, BE students join us in every city that we go to. It’s so great to drive to Richmond and see Onai and Bakar– to go to Roanoke and see Breyanna and Kimani. I run into delightful junior members like Phin, Sam, Janiya, and Juliet and their youth and energy almost trick me into doing regular events again. Cliche and I worked on a project around community members’ interactions with the police. Zongwe and I work together most Mondays beating back kudzu and other invasive weeds. These connections are genuine and long-lasting and don’t require a fiscal model to continue. 
BE at King's Dominion
There’s work to do, fun to be had, news to hear: Elie emailed from France and needs a cover letter edited. Zaw texted from Indiana, wanting to create a program to help Thai and Burmese folks access support. Dilara and Gouzal want a visit in NOVA. I dream of traveling to see Jackie in Hawaii and Thet in Myanmar. Corey reports to me how well Kadija is doing at her new job at the Montessori School. Valeria texts to tell me her semester grades. Htoogay continues with her studies. Jean updates me on his work life, and we discuss further goals. Bakar reports on his promotions at work. 
BE at BMD
Our young adult members are growing into adulthood. I could not be prouder of them. As I update my notes, I type “4 year school”, “graduated college”, and “grad school” again and again. These are Black and Brown kids, 1st generation college kids, 1st generation Americans, Young Women in the Sciences… While we never viewed the kids through the lens of their underserved identities, the reality is that they face more barriers than they should. 
BE Fancy
We will continue to amplify the work of others who are creating community and breaking down barriers. Donor Diapers, Black Women Stitch, Southern Gothicc Futurist Haiku Slams, Bridging the Gap, and Culinary Concepts AB are all works that we’ve supported this past year. We will continue to amplify the needs of our community. Redistribution of resources, reparations, and smashing hierarchical structures of discrimination and inequity are central to BE philosophies. 
BE Thankful
In the coming year, I will continue to support and consult on projects, particularly those led by Black people. If you would like to support me and my individual work, You can send payments to PayPal paypal.me/dollyjoseph and Venmo @dollyjoseph. I will also be launching a Patreon which will show my creative work, and writing about community building and activism. https://www.patreon.com/dollyofchange
BE CLAW
I appreciate your support over the years. The work that we’ve done with BE is one of the proudest accomplishments of my life. BE could not exist without the Steering Committee in its various shapes: Laura, Ellen, Davina, Toni, Mia, Batula, Marissa, Thet, and Jackie. The Donors and Advocates: Adam, Michele, Pat, Virginia, Ryan, Brandon, Bruce, Kim, Jim and Linda, Jennifer, Janet, Ceri, Tay, Bekah, Laura, Laura, and many more. And of course all the young people.See y’all soon.

Open Letter to College Students

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I’ll be honest here. I’ve been a bit frustrated with some of my college-aged young adults recently. While I tell them that I am happy to edit papers at the 11th hour if the alternative is no editing at all, reading some of these last minute papers that they’ve admittedly rushed through push me into haranguing mode.

So here’s the tricky part. I don’t want to come off like I’m being insensitive to my students’ realities. Here is what I know. These young people are often:

  • juggling very busy schedules, replete with school, jobs, sports, and family obligations,
  • Dealing with challenging living situations, often with a great deal of transition,
  • Without a role model in the family who has completed college (or even high school) themselves.

So, with that noted, I remain annoyed.

Here are some challenges I throw down for my students.

  • Be your absolute best. If you’re going to college, and paying thousands of dollars, and likely mortgaging your future, you’d better make it worth your while. Demand the best out of yourself. Turn off the TV. Go talk to your professor. Stop taking selfies of yourself. Get out your agenda book and write down the due dates. If you don’t want to do these kinda small things, stop paying the college you and your parent’s hard earned cash, and start looking for more hours at your job.
  • Demand more from your college and your professors. You say your classes are boring. First ask yourself: Am I doing the readings? Am I participating in discussion? Am I doing the homework? If the answer is yes to all those questions, and you’re still bored, then talk to your professor, talk to your chair, and demand better classes. Are your texts racist? Probably. Does it promote a world view that you disagree with? Probably. Then supply some thoughtful, research-driven alternative work to your professor to supplement your reading list. But don’t be intellectually lazy. You’d better be reading or watching something other than TMZ.
  • Develop your skills. Nobody is interested in hiring someone who has been rubber-stamped through a degree. Here’s what you need to be effective in the larger world:
    • Communication skills. Know how to communicate with others using a variety of media– this includes face to face, email and social media. This skill is so that you can persuade people to do stuff for and with you.
    • Prioritizing. There is no question that the students that I work with know how to work hard. But increasingly I see them working hard at things that don’t make sense in the long game. It’s not “don’t have fun”; It’s don’t get stuck on social media for 12 hours and then tell me you don’t have time to fill out a scholarship.
    • Follow-through. From sending a thank you note to checking in with your professor about a test score, following up and following through makes you memorable, and shows that you know to how to see something through to the end.
    • Connecting. During college you have the ability to connect with other people– from the secretaries filing your paperwork, to the professors who are grading you, to your fellow classmates who can support you now and in the future. Figure out how to connect those people– using the skills listed above. Your connections make the difference in the world you will be making for yourself.

Here’s a secret. You don’t need to finish college to learn these skills. But you need these skills to finish college. You’re going to need these skills regardless of what you are going to be. And here’s what you’re going to be:

  • Business owners,
  • Lawyers,
  • Web designers,
  • IT specialists,
  • Prosecuting Attorneys,
  • Chefs,
  • Radicals,
  • Leaders,
  • Wonderful.

BE Accomplished: 6 months of Building Experiences

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I began an experiment about 6 months ago. I decided that I wanted to work with young people. I decided that I wanted to do it in ways that felt genuine to me. I decided that I wanted to interact with the young people as a mentor, friend, and unabashedly myself.

I surrounded myself with friends who share similar values and who are also creating the world they want to exist in. We are working to create an inclusive and supportive community for our young members. We made some mistakes, but mostly it’s been joyous and fun. It doesn’t fit into our normal non-profit paradigm. Thankfully.

Scroll down to read quotes from students, see some raw data, and some lessons learned.

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Comments from BE Youth Members

Community dinners are special to me because I get to meet new people, learn about their jobs and what they do. It’s fun and you learn about other people and you get to know them.
–H.P. CHS Junior

You were helpful because you were keeping us on track and you were there to help us go through personal and school related problems… you actually directed some of us to go talk to our professors  and advisors…and you never ever for once give up on any of us…some of the time when we push other people away they will stop coming but you were always there.
–F.O. PVCC student

Ms. Dolly spent her whole morning helping me edit my research paper that was due within couple of hours. I hate to admit it, but I usually do my work last minute. I hadn’t started on my research paper that was assigned on the first day of classes, until few hours before it was due. I got a B though. I don’t think I can ever forget the all-nighters I spent fretting, and how with the help of Ms. Dolly I got a B. We were not expecting that at all, but we were both happy.
–D.U. GMU student

Being a part of BE gives me the chance to help others understand that being a mother is not the end of the road.
–M.H. Certified Nurse Associate, and Pharmacy Tech

Having someone to give you honest advice about college and other things really makes a big difference. I’m blessed to have so many wonderful people like you in my life who I can turn to, ask advice about certain things and can be sure that I’m getting a honest answer.
–M.A. VCU student

You put smile in my face, make me think about my future. Ask me what’s going to be next step, every Monday and it feel neat to be asked. I am thankful for that.
–B.O. PVCC student

You were a means of support for me personally and academically. You are always there showing me the way and the steps I need to take to get there. I know I can come to you for help regarding anything, and I appreciate that you are always there to help and listen.
–G.N. PVCC student

Summary of Services

Building Experiences has worked with 35 students this fall. All services are free to students, and to date; all work has been done on a volunteer basis. Our income has been $1705 cash donations, and about $785 in in-kind donations. Expenditures have equaled $1,440.53. Please donate to support our work.

  • We have shared meals with 68 community members, including 26 youth members in the months of December and January.
  •  BE held 10 check in sessions at PVCC and reached 23 students, including a core group of 11 students who sought BE out each week. Topics of discussion included transferring to 4 year schools, dealing with financial aid, improving relationships with parents, peers and professors, and how to balance school and work.
  • BE has provided help to 10 students with editing papers, college essays, resumes and/or cover letters, sometimes even at the last minute.
  • BE has hosted 5 special events since August. We’ve enjoyed EpiCroqueTournament, a long distance, mixed terrain croquet game, held a “Tool Day” where we built birdhouses and carved in stone with a dremel tool, constructed natural wreaths, and attended a multi-day Youth Conference featuring bookbinding, knitting, car-care, college prep and a falcon(!). We celebrated the MLK Jr. weekend by having a delightful walking tour of local, downtown businesses. 17 students have participated in these special programs.

Lessons Learned/Guiding Principles

This has been a glorious experiment, with no end in sight.

  • Reject the “rules” I’ve been instructed in my professional life to establish boundaries, keep my distance, be equitable and fair. And yes, in many ways these are sensible, protective measures. But they are so limiting. There are young people who need hugs, young people who need money, young people who need rides, young people who need to be told what is up. I think many of the rules put into our institutions are based upon fear. I reject that fear.
  • Play the long game Fiscal and academic years lull us into measuring progress with met outcomes and completed classes, but ultimately we’re raising people. People who need to know their stories, understand their strengths, and have a network of supporters. Sometimes there are issues that can’t be resolved in one month, one semester, or one year. There are so many people that we can gain inspiration from who kept persevering. We must give ourselves permission to slow the pace of our aspirations, and honor those who work towards goals years in the making.
  • Don’t let shiny gadgets distract you from the true magic  I wanted to be famous. I wanted to be an old school professor. I wanted to be an avant garde artiste type with shaped hair. I wanted to be a thought leader. What I love to be now is a connector of people, someone who helps dreams come true, people become their best selves. Occasionally I get offers or suggestions that divert me from that passion. Fame, prestige flickers enticingly. And then I remember that that is false promise, and what makes me happiest is knowing that I made one of these young people see and realize their potential. Finally I have found the focus that eluded this jack of all trades for so many decades.

Thank you to BE’s Partners, Volunteers, Donors
Blue Moon Diner
Frazier Family Foundation
The Local Restaurant
Virginia Organizing
Gibson’s Grocery
Camp Holiday Trails
Whole Foods
Denise Interchangeable Knitting and Crochet
Peggy Harrison
Sammy Kaplan
Vu Nguyen
EcoVillage Charlottesville
Mudhouse
Hedge
Cha Cha’s
Frozen Motion Glass
Taiwan Garden
Join our over 50 individual donors, volunteers, and supporters, Give Today. 

Building Experiences Steering Committee is
Laura Galgano, Ellen Krag, Mia Logan, Davina Fournier and Marissa Turner-Harris.

Dolly Joseph is the Chief Facilitator.

 

What are we going to do about college expense?

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Dear Langston,

From beyond the grave, can you revamp your poem? Can you tell me about a dream half-attained? A dream that is invested in, quasi-delivered, and then sabotaged?

In the past few weeks, I’ve had 4 students tell me these stories of heartbreak:

  • 3 semesters of Criminal Justice at ODU, 1 semester of PVCC. $26,000 dollars of debt. ODU won’t release transcripts, won’t allow 1st generation, immigrant student to register. Student is treading water, taking classes at PVCC that probably won’t transfer.
  • 3 semesters of Social Work at VSU. 1st generation high school graduate/college student has dropped out partly because of money, partly because fears that the school won’t maintain accreditation.
  • 2 semesters at VCU. Another 1st generation college student receives bill for $6,000 for this semester. Her CHS teacher writes a personal check for $3,000. Student returns for spring semester, not knowing how to get the remaining $3,000 before the end of term.
  •  5 semesters in North Carolina. 3.4 GPA. There’s no more money for this semester. This junior is taking classes at PVCC. As an upperclassman, what can she possibly take that is helping her complete her degree?

Our system is broken. These 4 African American students have done what they are supposed to do. They’ve gotten good grades. They’ve stayed out of trouble. They’ve done what our schools have told them to do. They’ve followed the American Dream of pursuing their education. And now they’re returning home. Without degrees. Enslaved to a debt that will not be released by anything except their death.

We let them down. We’ve sold them a false bill of goods. We’ve failed them.

Here’s what I know:

  • In the past weeks, I’ve talked to every college professor, every financial aid officer, and every scholarship manager that I could get hold of. None of them have had any hope of a solution for these students. Well, kinda one:
  • I will be writing ODU a polite, but embarrassing, letter threatening to expose that they billed a student $5,000 for housing for a semester he didn’t attend. He’ll still owe $21,000, but I suppose that’s a start.
  • All of these students were encouraged (some required) to apply to multiple 4-year colleges.
  • All of these students, and their families, were unprepared to deal with the financial shenanigans of the schools and the federal government.
  • If I were in their shoes, I wouldn’t have a clue how to proceed. And I spent 10 years prostrate to the higher mind.
  • This is not their fault. This is not only their problem. This is OUR problem.

Here’s how to be horrible:

  • Push kids through a K-12 system that doesn’t adequately prepare them,
  • Stigmatize them if they don’t go to college,
  • Tell them the only way to get out of the ghettos we’ve created is to go off to college,
  • Have them sign notes for thousands of dollars, that’s not quite enough to cover all expenses,
  • Create an unhelpful bureaucracy that penalizes for any slip up (in fact seems to be facilitating slip ups),
  • Blame them when they are not successful,
  • Accept that they’ll be making minimum wage in the service industry.

What are we going to do about this? Some suggestions:

  • Develop a relationship with, and advocate for, a particular student,
  • Demand more funding for state universities,
  • Destigmatize attending community college,
  • Demand tuition decreases,
  • Stop degree inflation (does every job really require a master’s degree?),
  • Stage national student and instructor walk-outs,
  • Take education seriously as a human right
  • Question who does it serve to keep our youth (particularly our youth of color) uneducated and broke.

Building Experiences Youth Conference 2015

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This past weekend we had an amazing time at the first ever BE Youth Conference. Over 3 days 11 youth and 15 adults, one baby and one falcon came together to:

  • Make pizza
  • Bind books
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  • Design a personalized flag
  • Set goals and expectations
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  • Discuss college and career

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    With Permission from Peggy Harrison

  • Share life stories
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  • Explore available scholarships

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    With Permission from Peggy Harrison

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    With Permission from Peggy Harrison

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    With Permission from Peggy Harrison

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  • Learn to knit and crochet
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  • Begin saving for the new year
  • Learn about car maintenance
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  • Share meals
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  • Hold a falcon
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  • Meet new friends
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  • Share cleaning responsibilities
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  • Hug and Laugh

It was magical.

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Thank you to Peggy Harrison for sharing her photographs.

A Week (+ 1) In Pictures

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When my brain is too full of words to process, I must resort to pictures. This week has been so amazingly full, inspiring and life-affirming, I haven’t even been able to begin filing it appropriately. Enjoy these pictures of so many amazing people!

High school sophmores and juniors receive French tutoring from UVA French major.

11/10 High school sophomores and juniors receive French tutoring from UVA French major.

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Practice: Early and Often

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As I work with my young adult students, I find that I am not offering profound insights into calculus or chemical engineering, I am coaching them on skills and ideas that we continue to practice as adults. Often I’m merely retelling students my own insights in coping with problematic situations, and reminding myself again to improve myself. Here are my top 5 skills that every adult, young or old needs to practice, early and often, to be more productive, and happier.

Recognize Your Passions and Strengths Continue reading →

College Essay, How I Love Thee

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Ugh, college essay time! Right? Wrong. I love the process of writing the college essay. The college essay serves lots of purposes. It can explain away a period of poor grades. It can personalize all the numbers. It can provide context for afterschool activities. Most importantly, though, it is the student’s story, as told by and understood by the student.

Writing a college essay can allow students to see themselves differently, to recast their stories, to gain confidence and to feel entitled (in the best way) for the educational opportunities they are pursuing. Grade school has become such a disparate series of parts, that it can be hard for a young student to understand the process and his or her role in it. Oftentimes, the students I work with have experienced some sort of failure or aren’t as competitive as their peers. The college essay allows them to explain the circumstances, and to highlight how they excelled even in the face of adversity.

What’s a string of Bs and Cs in general level classes in the face of the struggles I see? The stories of students I work with are complex, and sometimes heartbreaking. A 20 year-old mother who was impregnated by rape at 13, and is raising the baby, alone, and in a foreign country. A daughter who cried as her father was dragged out of their home and shot dead. A boy who has been responsible for paying for his school supplies and clothes since he was 13 because his family needs any available money for food. A young woman who is the product of generations of rape. A young man who fled his home place because his father was kidnapped and held for ransom. You could meet these students 100 times and never know these things about them because they present as strong, and resilient. And they are strong and resilient, or they wouldn’t have survived.

But their grades are so-so, or their SAT scores are just average, or they haven’t done enough extra-curricular activities to be competitive. The college essay can contextualize that so-so high school performance and demonstrate that that performance, given the pressures, the obstacles, the hardships that were faced, was in fact exemplary, and outstanding, and that young person asking for more education and more opportunity would be an asset to the college.

When young people write their own stories, through the process of the college essay, they can see themselves as worthy, as hard-working, as heroes of their own stories. In turn, they enter a new part of their lives having a sense of their journey knowing that they have already overcome so much, and the challenges of succeeding in school are not insurmountable.

Transitioning Youth to College

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I love working with teens and young adults. They are outwardly brave and bold, but secretly vulnerable, still seeking approval and reassurance. They want to be independent and make their own decisions, but they also want to establish themselves on the paths to responsible adulthood.

I tend to work with young people who have circumstances that are different than my own, and maybe yours, at the same age. They are people of color. Or they are young parents. Or they are first generation college students. Or they immigrated to this country. Or they speak another language at home. Or they live below the poverty line. Or they practice a non-Christian religion. Sometimes the students I work with are described as “minorities”, “at-risk”, “low-SES”, “underserved”, “low-income”, “disadvantaged”, “low-achieving”, “under-performing” or any other term that sounds good in a grant application.

I hate using these terms, because it’s othering. These terms make these kids sound “needy”. All 16-22 year olds are needy. They need fully-grown adults to guide them, even when they are jerks, make dumb choices, and say they don’t want help. Conservative pundits talk about people pulling themselves up by the bootstraps, while their own challenging kids attend private schools, experience prestigious unpaid internships and are tutored in every subject.

Teenagers who grow up in homes of privilege, homes where the status quo is to go to college and get a professional job, are exposed to important support, knowledge and experiences that may not available to teenagers who are first generation college students. For example:

  • The expectation that they will go to college AND graduate from college,
  • The connection between difficulty of classes, GPA and SAT scores on college selection and acceptance,
  • Familiarity with college campuses (including visits to alma maters of family members)
  • Understanding implications of financial aid such as loans, scholarships, grants, etc,
  • Differentiating between for-profit vs traditional colleges,
  • Awareness of and importance of a major,
  • Knowledge of connection between major, graduate school, certification and ultimate job opportunities,
  • Familiarity with college support systems such as career counseling and job placement rates,
  • Awareness of the admissions, financial aid, and add/drop deadlines and that the onus is on the student, not the school.

Which of these did you implicitly know? Sure, maybe like me you regretted a few choices but also maybe like me, you had access to and the resources for the following opportunities (privileges):

  • Sufficient reading, writing and thinking skills to be immediately successful in college
  • A “Gap Year”
  • Travel
  • Extracurricular classes and Camps
  • A home base to return to
  • A car
  • An allowance or parental loans
  • A support person to nag you onto track
  • A quiet place to apply to college
  • A strong network of entrepreneurs and business owners (I can name at least 5 jobs that I had before the age of 22 that I got because of my network of family and friends)
  • Enough financial security to delay entry into the workforce through undergrad and grad school
  • The same skin color and cultural background as the majority of business owners and patrons in the lucrative downtown mall district

There are many programs that are doing a lot to help students transition successfully to college: Upward Bound and AVID are two Charlottesville programs that do a great deal to help students, but we can do more. We need to do more.